Répliques "culte"

[Rémy]

Salut,

Un petit post sur les répliques "culte", en fonction des gouts de chacun...

Blade Runner:

Tyrell You were made as well as we could make you.

Batty (Rutger Hauer) But not to last.

Tyrell The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long. And you have burned so very very brightly, Roy.
-----
Batty Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it? That's what it is to be a slave. I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I've watched C beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time like tears in rain. Time to die.
-----

Scarface
Tony Montana "Whattaya lookin' at? You're all a bunch of fucking assholes. You know why? 'Cause you don't have the guts to be what you wanna be. You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your fucking fingers, and say "that's the bad guy." So, what dat make you? Good? You're not good; you just know how to hide. Howda lie. Me, I don't have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth--even when I lie. So say goodnight to the bad guy. Come on; the last time you gonna see a bad guy like this, let me tell ya. Come on, make way for the bad guy. There's a bad guy comin' through; you better get outta his way!"
----
Tony Montana "In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women"

----
Fight Club(pas trouvé les quote en anglais )

Tyler Durden " Je regarde autour de moi et je vois un tas de nouveaux visages .(Les hommes rient) Vos gueules !Ca veut dire que beaucoup d'entre vous ont enfreint les deux premières règles du Fight Club. Putain, Je vois ici les hommes les plus forts et les plus intelligents que j'ai jamais vu .Je vois tous ce potentiel et je le vois gâché. Je vois une génération entière qui travaille à des pompes à essence ,qui fait le service dans des restaus ,qui est esclave d'un p'tit chef dans un bureau .Le pub nous fait courir après des voitures et des fringues .On fait des boulots qu'on détestent pour se payer des merdes qui nous servent à rien .On est les enfants oubliés de l'histoire mes amis .On a pas de but ni de vraies places .On a pas d'grandes guerres ,pas de grandes dépression. Notre grande guerre est spirituel, notre grande dépression ,c'est nos vies. La télévision nous a appris à croire qu'un jour on serait tous des millionnaires ,des dieux du cinéma ou des rock stars mais c'est faux .Et nous apprenons lentement cette vérité ,on en a vraiment ,vraiment ,plein l'cul. "

...

Rémy

[tempete]

petite replique d'un de mes films préférés:

John Milton -Pour qui tu le portes ton sac de briques dis-moi, Kevin ? Dieu, c'est ça ? Dieu, tu sais quoi ? Je vais te dévoiler une petite info exclusive, au sujet de Dieu: Dieu aime regarder, c'est une farceur ! Réfléchis. Il accorde à l'Homme les instincts, il vous fait ce cadeau extraordinaire et ensuite qu'est-ce qu'il s'empresse de faire -et ça je peux te le jurer- pour son propre divertissement, sa propre distraction cosmique, personnelle: il établie des règles en opposition. C'est d'un mauvais goût épouvantable... "Regarde, mais surtout ne touche pas. Touche, mais surtout ne goûte pas. Goûte, n'avale surtout pas !" Et pendant que vous êtes tous là à sautiller d'un pied sur l'autre, lui, qu'est-ce qu'il fait ? Il se fend la pêche à s'en cogner son vieux cul de cinglé au plafond ! C'est un refoulé ! C'est un sadique ! C'est un proprio qui habite même pas l'immeuble. Vénérer un truc pareil: JAMAIS !

[tempete]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bridgekeeper: Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Lancelot: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Sir Lancelot: My name is Sir Launcelot of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Lancelot: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Sir Lancelot: Blue.
Bridgekeeper: Right. Off you go.
Sir Lancelot: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
Sir Robin: That's easy!
Bridgekeeper: Stop! Who approacheth the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Robin: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Sir Robin: Sir Robin of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Robin: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the capital of Assyria?
[pause]
Sir Robin: I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!
Bridgekeeper: Stop! What... is your name?
Galahad: Sir Galahad of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Galahad: I seek the Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Galahad: Blue. No, yel... auuuuuuuugh!
Bridgekeeper: Hee hee heh. Stop! What... is your name?
King Arthur: It is 'Arthur', King of the Britons.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
King Arthur: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
King Arthur: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
Bridgekeeper: Huh? I... I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!
Sir Bedevere: How do know so much about swallows?
King Arthur: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.


monty python and the holy grail

[Arngrim]

du tout bon

[BangoO]

Fetchez la vache !

[tempete]

Girl Scout: Is this made from real lemons?
Wednesday: Yes.
Girl Scout: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they're real lemons?
Pugsley Addams: Yes.
Girl Scout: I'll tell you what. I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?
Wednesday: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?
-------------------
Morticia: Don't torture yourself, Gomez. That's my job.
--------------------
Dr. Pinderschloss: The human spirit, it is a very difficult thing to kill.
Grandmama: Even with a chain saw!

la famille adams

[RNO]

Comme ca me fait plaisir de voir cite "The Addams Family"

[auto modere pour raison de connerie avancee]

[tempete]

ben non, elles viennent du premier

mais en voila du deuxieme: adams family values

Young Girl: ... and then Mommy kissed Daddy, and the angel told the stork, and the stork flew down from heaven, and put the diamond in the cabbage patch, and the diamond turned into a baby!
Pugsley: Our parents are having a baby too.
Wednesday: They had sex.
-------------------------
Morticia: Wednesday's at that age when a young girl has only one thing on her mind.
Ellen Buckman: Boys?
Wednesday: Homicide.

[Rémy]

C'est arrivé près de chez vous. (a prendre au deuxieme degré comme le film!......)

Benoit Poelvoorde
L'amour laisse comme une traînée de souffre derrière lui, comme une odeur qui traîne et que malgré tout dès que tu rencontres quelqu'un, tu sens, un peu comme quand tu vas pisser et que tu sens tes doigts. Tu vois? Ca sent toujours, faut te laver les mains deux, trois fois avant que tu n'oublies que tu aies fait pipi.

-----
Benoit : "Dis Rémi, André m'a laisser entendre tout à l'heure que vous aviez quelques problèmes pour terminer le film et pour acheter la péliculle ?"
Rémi : "Hum, juste que..."
Benoit : " Eh bien, il va de, il va de soi que je suis prêt à partager mon pécule, hein. "
Rémi & André : "Oh, merci Benoit..."
Benoit : " Je s'rai ravis, je s'rai ravis !"
Rémi : "Merci, merci beaucoup. C'est gentil. "
Benoit : "Ettt, si y faut faire des heures supplémentaires, on f'ra des heures supplémentaires, hein. Mais là ce n'sra plus un film mon gars, c'est une saga !"
------

Pigeon,
Oiseau à la grise robe,
Dans l'enfer des villes,
à mon regard tu te dérobes,
tu es vraiment le plus agile.

------

Benoît : "Oh oh oh, les saligauds, un veilleur de nuit noir si c'est pas un coup dans le dos? C'est dégoûtant. Juste pour que l'on ne le voit pas. Tu te rends compte Rémy, jusqu'où ils vont? Mais ils se permettent tout! hein? Pauvre gosse, un enfant du soleil. Tu te rends compte? Ce gosse a été élevé sous les baobabs, si ça tombe et maintenant il est ici sur les chantiers. Quel horreur, ça me dégoûte. Ils se croient tout permis ces gens.
C'est comme ce ciment, tu peux être sur que c'est un ciment hongrois, la loi de l'éternelle provisoire, hein? Et tu peux être sur qu'ils mettent beaucoup plus de sable qu'ils ne mettent de ciment. Ca c'est certain. (rire) C'est des économies de bout de chandelle et après les murs se lézardent, ça c'est certain. Il y a des fissures et tout le bazar. Enfin, j'ai été coulé deux maghrébins ici dans la colonne nord, hein? attention, je les ai tourné vers la Mecque. Tu peux être sur que dans deux ans on verra leur trou du cul, ça c'est certain. Bon, lui, il est coulé là bas. Regarde moi ça, en plus il était beau garçon.
En tout cas je vous prévient que je ne touche pas à ça. Ca, le sida Rémy, le sida, les singes verts, je n'y touche pas. Prends le par les caoutchouc si tu le Prends, mais moi je n'y touche pas. Encore regarde moi ça. Pourquoi les habiller en jaune si on ne doit pas les voir? Enfin encore heureux qu'il n'y ait pas les chiens! Car en général, ils sont accompagnés de molosses. Et ça je n'aime pas. Tu sais que les noirs s'entendent très très bien avec les animaux, c'est très connu ça. Ils ont une façon de leur parler. Ca c'est ...
Dit, c'est le moment ou jamais."
Assistant : « Quoi? »
Benoît : "De savoir si c'est vrai cette légende! A propos de leur proportion. Rémy, enlève lui son pantalon et hôtes-lui son slip. Seigneur, Oh c'est quand même bien fait. Oh la la la la. allez remballe tout ça Rémy. C'est écoeurant à la fin. Tu te rends compte que ce gosse n'a même pas 18 ans et qu'il est déjà bâtit comme un mulet.
Oh. Tu sais que ces gosses en général travail dans les dancings la nuit, ils gagnent souvent leur argent avec ça. Lui, ça doit surement être un prude parce qu'il travaille dans les chantiers. Mais tant a qui vivent de ça, de leur membre, hein?, c'est terrible.
(rire)
Ca te fait rire toi! Oh oui, bien sur, c'est pas avec ça que tu vas gagner ta vie toi, hein!"
-----

Pour un adulte, mettre trois fois le poids du corps.
Pour un enfant, les os sont plus légers, mettre quatre fois le poids du corps.
Pour un vieux, les os sont poreux alors il faut mettre cinq fois le poids du corps.
Par contre, un nain, ça a les os lourds, alors une fois le poids du corps, ça suffit.

[Xéna]

Le Poulpe : A force d'enculer les poules, on finit par casser les oeufs

[Arngrim]

Jules: There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you." I been sayin' that shit for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant your ass. I never really questioned what it meant. I thought it was just a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherfucker before you popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some shit this mornin' made me think twice. Now I'm thinkin': it could mean you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could be you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. I'd like that. But that shit ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd.


Pulp Fiction

[tempete]

Donkey: Wow, that was really scary and if you don't mind me saying, if that don't work, your breath will certainly get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something 'cause your breath STINKS!

shrek

[Rémy]

Fight Club(vo )

Tyler Durden The things you own, end up owning you

Tyler Durden Advertising has us chasing car and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of the history men. No purpose or place, we had no great war, no great depression. Our great war's a spiritual war. Our depression is our lives. We've all been raised by television to believe that one day we'll be millionaires and movie gods ans rock stars, but we won't, we're slowly learning that fact and we're very very pissed off'

Tyler Durden Hitting bottom isn't a weekend retreat, it's not a god damned seminar.
Stop to trying control everything and just let go. Let go ..

Tyler Durden We are defined by the choice we make

Tyler Durden On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero

[Rémy]

The meaning of life, VII, Death

Part VII: Death



GEOFFREY: Yes?
[pause]
Is it about the hedge?
[pause]
Look. I am awfully sorry, but--
GRIM REAPER: I am the Grim Reaper.
GEOFFREY: Who?
GRIM REAPER: The Grim Reaper.
GEOFFREY: Yes, I see.
GRIM REAPER: I am death.
GEOFFREY: Yes, well, the thing is, we've got some people from America for dinner tonight, and--
ANGELA: Who is it, darling?
GEOFFREY: It's a 'Mr. Death' or something. He's come about the reaping? I don't think we need any at the moment.
ANGELA: Hello. Well, don't leave him hanging around outside, darling. Ask him in.
GEOFFREY: Darling, I don't think it's quite the moment.
ANGELA: Do come in. Come along in. Come and have a drink. Do. Come on.

GUESTS: [mumbling]
ANGELA: It's one of the little men from the village.
GUESTS: [mumbling]
ANGELA: Uh, do come in.
GUESTS: [mumbling]
ANGELA: Please.
GUESTS: [mumbling]
ANGELA: This is Howard Katzenberg from Philadelphia...
HOWARD KATZENBERG: Hi.
ANGELA: ...and his wife, Debbie,...
DEBBIE: Hello there.
ANGELA: ...and these are the Portland-Smythes, Jeremy and Fiona.
FIONA PORTLAND-SMYTHE: Good evening.
ANGELA: This is Mr. Death.
[spooky music]
Well, do get Mr. Death a drink, darling.
GEOFFREY: Uh, yes.
HOWARD: Mmm.
ANGELA: Mr. Death is a reaper.
GRIM REAPER: The Grim Reaper.
ANGELA: Hardly surprising, in this weather. Ha ha ha.
EVERYONE: [laughing]
HOWARD: So, you still, uh, reap around here, do you, Mr. Death?
GRIM REAPER: I am the Grim Reaper.
GEOFFREY: That's about all he says.
DEBBIE: Heh.
GEOFFREY: There's your drink, Mr. Death.
ANGELA: Do sit down.
DEBBIE: We were just talking about some of the awful problems facing the thir-- [gasp]
[crash]
ANGELA: Ohh. Would you prefer white? I-- I'm afraid we don't have any beer.
JEREMY PORTLAND-SMYTHE: The Stilton's awfully good.
GRIM REAPER: I am not of this world.
[spooky music]
GEOFFREY: Good Lord.
GRIM REAPER: I am death.
DEBBIE: Well, isn't that extraordinary? We were just talking about death only five minutes ago.
ANGELA: Yes, we were.
HOWARD: Mmm. Mm.
ANGELA: You know, whether death is really the end.
DEBBIE: As my husband, uh, Howard, here, feels, or whether there is-- and one so hates to use words like 'soul' or 'spirit', but--
JEREMY: But what other words can one use?
GEOFFREY: E-- exactly.
GRIM REAPER: You do not understand.
DEBBIE: Ah, no. Obviously not.
HOWARD: Let me just tell you something, Mr. Death.
GRIM REAPER: You do n--
HOWARD: Just one moment. I'd like to express, on behalf of everybody here, what a... really unique experience this is.
JEREMY: Hear, hear.
ANGELA: Yes, we're so delighted, uh, that you dropped in, Mr. Death.
HOWARD: Can I just finish, please?
DEBBIE: Mr. Death, is there an after-life?
HOWARD: Dear, if you could just wait, please, a moment,--
ANGELA: Are you sure you wouldn't like some sherry?
DEBBIE: [mumbling]
HOWARD: Angela. Angela, I'd like to just say this at this time, if I could, please. Really.
GRIM REAPER: Be quiet!
HOWARD: Can I just say this at this time, please?
GRIM REAPER: Silence! I have come for you.
ANGELA: You mean... to--
GRIM REAPER: Take you away. That is my purpose. I am death.

GEOFFREY: Well, that's cast rather a gloom over the evening, hasn't it?
HOWARD: I don't see it that way, Geoff. [sniff] Let me tell you what I think we're dealing with here: a potentially positive learning experience to get an--
GRIM REAPER: Shut up! Shut up, you American. You always talk, you Americans. You talk and you talk and say 'let me tell you something' and 'I just wanna say this'. Well, you're dead now, so shut up!
HOWARD: Dead?
GRIM REAPER: Dead.
ANGELA: All of us?
GRIM REAPER: All of you.
GEOFFREY: Now, look here. You barge in here, quite uninvited, break glasses, and then announce, quite casually, that we're all dead. Well, I would remind you that you are a guest in this house, and-- [whock] Ah! Oh.
GRIM REAPER: Be quiet! Englishmen, you're all so fucking pompous, and none of you have got any balls.
DEBBIE: Can I ask you a question?
GRIM REAPER: What?
DEBBIE: How can we all have died at the same time?
[silence]
GRIM REAPER: The salmon mousse.
GEOFFREY: Darling, you didn't use canned salmon, did you?
ANGELA: I'm most dreadfully embarrassed.
GRIM REAPER: Now the time has come. Follow. Follow me.
[clunk]
[bang bang bang bang bang]
GEOFFREY: Just... testing. Sorry.
GRIM REAPER: Follow me. Now.
[deathly music]
Come.
[eerie music]
ANGELA: Well, the fishmonger promised me he'd have some fresh salmon, and he's normally so reliable.
RANDOM: Stumm. Stumm.
JEREMY: Can we keep our glasses?
RANDOM: Mmm hmm.
FIONA: Oh. Good idea. [hiccup]
RANDOM: Come on.
GUESTS: [mumbling]
HOWARD: Okay.
GUESTS: [mumbling]
DEBBIE: Hey, I didn't even eat the mousse.
GUESTS: [mumbling]
ANGELA: Honestly, darling, I'm so embarrassed. It really is embarrassing. I mean,...
HOWARD: I suppose... [mumbling]
ANGELA: ...to serve salmon with botulism at a dinner party is social death for me.
GEOFFREY: Well, all right.
GUESTS: [mumbling]
JEREMY: Uh, shall we take our cars?
FIONA: Do we need them?
GEOFFREY: Why not?
ANGELA: Yes. Why not?
HOWARD: [mumbling] ...is my vote.
ANGELA: Good idea.
RANDOM: Yes. Why not?
GUESTS: [mumbling]
RANDOM: Shall we go separately?
[car sounds]
GUESTS: [mumbling]
[spooky music]
GRIM REAPER: Behold... Paradise.
[elevator music]
MR. HENDY: I love it here, darling.
MRS. HENDY: Me too, Marvin.
RECEPTIONIST: Hello. Welcome to Heaven. Excuse me, could you just sign here, please, sir?
JEREMY: Yes.
RECEPTIONIST: Thank you! There's a table for you through there in the restaurant.
JEREMY: Thank you.
RECEPTIONIST: For the ladies,...
FIONA: Mhm. 'After-life Mints'. [hiccup]
DEBBIE: Thank you.
RECEPTIONIST: Happy Christmas!
DEBBIE: Oh, is it Christmas today?
RECEPTIONIST: Of course, madam. It's Christmas every day in Heaven.
DEBBIE: Ohh.
HOWARD: Mmm.
DEBBIE: How about that?
HOWARD: Hello there.
DEBBIE: Ah.

CROWD: [mumbling]

[music]
Shhh. Shhhh! Shhh...
TONY BENNETT: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. It's truly a real honourable experience to be here this evening, a very wonderful and warm and emotional moment for all of us, and I'd like to sing a song for all... of you.
[applause]
[singing]
It's Christmas in Heaven.
All the children sing.
It's Christmas in Heaven.
Hark. Hark. Those church bells ring.

It's Christmas in Heaven.
The snow falls from the sky,
But it's nice and warm, and everyone
Looks smart and wears a tie.


It's Christmas in Heaven.
There's great films on TV:
'The Sound of Music' twice an hour
And 'Jaws' One, Two, and Three.

JOSEPH AND MARY: [singing]
There's gifts for all the family.
There's toiletries and trains.
THREE WISE MEN: [singing]
There's Sony Walkman Headphone sets
And the latest video games.


EVERYONE: [singing]
It's Christmas! It's Christmas in Heaven!
Hip hip hip hip hip hooray!
Every single day
Is Christmas day!

It's Christmas! It's Christmas in Heaven!
Hip hip hip hip hip hooray!

http://www.mwscomp.com/movies/mol/mol.htm

[Rémy]

Full Metal Jacket

Hart: I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your Senior Drill Instructor.
From now on, you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be "Sir!"
Do you maggots understand that?
Recruits: Sir, yes, sir!
Hart: Bullshit! I can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair.
Recruits: Sir, yes, sir!
Hart: If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training ... you will be a weapon, you will be a minister of death, praying for war.
But until that day you are pukes! You're the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human fucking beings! You are nothing but unorganized grabasstic pieces of amphibian shit!
Because I am hard, you will not like me. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn. I am hard, but I am fair!
There is no racial bigotry here! I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless!
And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps!
Do you maggots understand that?
Recruits: Sir, yes, sir!
Hart: Bullshit! I can't hear you!
Recruits: Sir, yes, sir!
Hart: What's your name, scumbag?
Sno: Sir, Private Brown, sir!
Hart: Bullshit! From now on you're Private Snowball! Do you like that name?
Sno: Sir, yes, sir!
Hart: Well, there's one thing that you won't like, Private Snowball!
They don't serve fried chicken and watermelon on a daily basis in my mess hall!
Sno: Sir, yes, sir!
Joker: (whispering) Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?
Hart: Who said that? Who the fuck said that?
Who's the slimy little communist shit twinkle-toed cocksucker down here, who just signed his own death warrant?
Nobody, huh?! The fairy fucking godmother said it! Out-fucking-standing!
I will P.T. you all until you fucking die!
I'll P.T. you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk.
Was it you, you scroungy little fuck, huh?!
Cow: Sir, no, sir!
Hart: You little piece of shit! You look like a fucking worm! I'll bet it was you!
Cow: Sir, no, sir!
Joker: Sir, I said it, sir!
Hart: Well ...no shit.
What have we got here, a fucking comedian? Private Joker?
I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and fuck my sister
(punches Joker in stomach)
You little scumbag! I've got your name! I've got your ass!
You will not laugh! You will not cry!
You will learn by the numbers. I will teach you.
Now get up! Get on your feet!
You had best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck!
Joker: Sir, yes, sir!
Hart: Private Joker, why did you join my beloved Corps?
Joker: Sir, to kill, sir!
Hart: So you're a killer!
Joker: Sir, yes, sir!
Hart: Let me see your war face!
Joker: Sir?
Hart: You've got a war face?
Aaaaaaaagh! That's a war face.
Now let me see your war face!
Joker: Aaaaaaaagh!
Hart: Bullshit! You didn't convince me! Let me see your real war face!
Joker: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!
Hart: You didn't scare me! Work on it!
Joker: Sir, yes, sir!
Hart: What's your excuse?
Cow: Sir, excuse for what, sir?
Hart: I'm asking the fucking questions here, Private. Do you understand?!
Cow: Sir, yes, sir!
Hart: Well thank you very much! Can I be in charge for a while?
Cow: Sir, yes, sir!
Hart: Are you shook up? Are you nervous?
Cow: Sir, I am, sir!
Hart: Do I make you nervous?
Cow: Sir!
Hart: Sir, what? Were you about to call me an asshole?!
Cow: Sir, no, sir!
Hart: How tall are you, Private?
Cow: Sir, five foot nine, sir!
Hart: Five foot nine? I didn't know they stacked shit that high! You trying to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere, huh?
Cow: Sir, no, sir!
Hart: Bullshit! It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress!
I think you've been cheated!
Where in hell are you from anyway, Private?
Cow: Sir, Texas, sir!
Hart: Holy dogshit! Texas! Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy!
And you don't look much like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows it down! Do you suck dicks!
Cow: Sir, no, sir!
Hart: Are you a peter-puffer?
Cow: Sir, no, sir!
Hart: I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-around!
I'll be watching you!
Hart: Did your parents have any children that lived?
Pyle: Sir, yes, sir!
Hart: I'll bet they regret that!
You're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece! What's your name, fatbody?
Pyle: Sir, Leonard Lawrence, sir!
Hart: Lawrence? Lawrence, what, of Arabia?
Pyle: Sir, no, sir!
Hart: That name sounds like royalty! Are you royalty?
Pyle: Sir, no, sir!
Hart: Do you suck dicks?
Pyle: Sir, no, sir!
Hart: Bullshit! I'll bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose!
Pyle: Sir, no, sir!
Hart: I don't like the name Lawrence! Only faggots and sailors are called Lawrence!
From now on you're Gomer Pyle!
Pyle: Sir, yes, sir!